He must be stopped

I bitch about Scientology a lot, I know, but Tom Cruise has seriously gone off the deep end.
In this video of him talking about Scientology, he shows what a complete crackhead he is.

He says things such as:

"We can rehabilitate criminals... We can unite cultures."
"When I drive by an accident it's not like other people driving by an accident, because I know I can help."
"Being a scientologist people turn to you..."
"So its our responsibility to educate, create the new reality."

And he keeps laughing like a maniac.

Wow, I'm now convinced to join Scientology. Sign me up. Give me my keds and get me a glass of koolaide.

The juice is back

As if I needed any reasons to love Slate more, here comes the best story on that lovable scamp OJ: If I Robbed Him: That Son-Of-A-Bitch Is Lucky To Be Alive After He Stole My Damn Souvenirs.

The entire situation is ridiculous, but Slate effortlessly chugs through the mind of the Juice--

On the killings of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson: "That killing Nicole and that Goldman dude back in 1994, who were really asking for it, not that I'm saying I did it, but if I did do it then it wasn't that big a deal, she had it coming, that no-good blood-sucking c—"

On the armed robbery being recorded: "Way I see it, the tape is a good news/bad news thing. It's good news because I don't have to go all fuzzy in this book like I did in If I Did It about what happened when my explosive rage crossed the line into criminality.
Uh, if it crossed into criminality. Which it didn't."

Keep up the good work Slate. My random laughing is really starting to creep out my coworkers.

Breaking News!

Paris Hilton says Nicole Richie will be a great mom.

What a relief. I was worried.

Is it hot on this planet or is it just me?

Every morning I'm bombarded with stories on global warming on NPR -- ways people are trying to stop it, ways it's affecting nomads in Mongolia, ways it's making the lives of polar bears suck. I see stories on the internets constantly and Global Warming poster boy Al Gore is everywhere spouting his sanctimonious save the world crap.

I'd like to save the earth or keep it healthy, but my annoyance with this Global Warming "awareness" attack reached new heights with Live Earth.

I didn't tune into any of the concerts. I actually went out of my way to avoid it. The last thing I want to hear is a pop, rock or rap star lecturing on being green.

Rapper are notorious for driving smog-spewing SUVs. Most musicians own about 10 homes with an environmental footprint bigger than 100 of my own. They are constantly on the move, jetting across the country on planes that produce more pollution. They drink bottled water from Fiji and eat weird food that must travel thousands of miles to their pampered mouths.

Sure, it's nice that these stars give up some time to raise awareness on global warming, but I'd rather hear from someone who is making a difference than some hypocritical superstar who pollutes more than anyone I know. And what's the point of raising awareness about something everyone already knows about?

I think a more novel idea would be to have a bunch of people pledge to not drive for one day and then broadcast the concert over the internet. Maybe people could learn that it's not difficult to walk to your local grocery store, bar, ect. It makes more sense to teach methods that could turn into habits than hold a big concert that everyone will forget about in a week.

Karma 1, PH 0

I am surprisingly amused with Paris Hilton's 45-day jail sentence. I know it's mean and karma will probably come after me next, but I still laugh.... Bwahahahaha!

For those of you who have no idea what I'm musing about-- Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation for a DUI.... hmmmm, I wonder if she has party plates of her 18 cars? I digress, though.

First off, why was she driving? Doesn't she have people to do that for her? Doesn't she have enough money to call a taxi??? And why was she driving after her probation? Did she think no one would notice?

I'm glad she'll spend some time in jail. Maybe it'll make her realize that she's not special or talented, she's just Paris Hilton because she was born at the right place at the right time. I'm sure if karma had known how worthless she'd come to be, it would have placed her in the womb of a crack whore in Detriot.

I'm not saying I hope she gets gang raped in the shower, or anything. I am just hoping she learns that she can use her money and fame for good, instead of releasing a crappy CD.