Ahhh nature

I went to the lake this weekend and an offshore wind allowed me to partake of nature.

The wind pushed the water out, exposing sandbars and enabling the more adventurous to venture a mile off shore and only be in waist deep water. I found clams, crabs and tried to save some small fish from beaching themselves.

But a very unfortunate view of nature gave my father and I the kind of bonding experience no one should go through.

My father ran into some friends on the beach and stopped to introduce me. Upon the second introduction I received an eye full of junk.... twig and berries, pork and beans, ect.

The 40-something man was wearing short-shorts, no underwear and crossing his legs so his one-eye willy kept winking at me.

My father proceeded to talk to the group for 15 minutes as the man crossed and uncrossed his legs a la Fatal Instinct and I awkwardly looked away.

As soon as we parted company with Sharon Stone I had to ask my father if he saw the package. How could you not?

"I was hoping you didn't notice," he said.

When my mom found out she relayed a similar story about my grandfather. As if the day couldn't get worse.

*Shudder and Gag*