I see, hear and experience things that make me wonder about humanity every day.

It amazes me what people will tell a total stranger with a trusting and kind manner. What amazes me even more is the way people treat each other whether they be strangers, acquaintances, friends or even family. It depresses me that I'm often on the receiving end of the shitty treatment. I'm not exactly the world's toilet, but I am beginning to ponder the price of a porcelain hat.

Some days I want to pull a Henry David Thoreau and go live in the wilderness, but that would make me a hippie and we can't have that. Other days I consider developing agoraphobia, but I'd get bored.

So here's my plan: Please send money to the Happy Sunshine Foundation. With the proceeds I'll buy an island in the Caribbean or South Pacific and become the mighty dictator. I'd promise all the donors a place on my island, but you may annoy or piss me off, so I'll fore go any empty promises.

If you stay on my good side, though, welcome. You'll be the one I send on the beer and food run. But don't forget my DVDs or you are so gone.