You know what I hate?

This is in honor of the long-hair....
You know what I hate? People who use the word quagmire. It's ridiculous. This morning I heard one Massachusetts voter say he didn't like the "military quagmire overseas."
Gay.

Zombie Strippers -- take your whole family to see it!

Because I know everyone is curious, I went to see Zombie Strippers at the Gateway yesterday and it rocked my socks.

Robert Englund, better known as Freddie Krueger, and Jenna Jameson were in it as well as some unknowns who did a decent job. The movie was absolutely ridiculous -- and when I say ridiculous I MEAN RIDICULOUS -- and riddled with stereotypes and boobies, but with a title like Zombie Strippers what else can you expect?

The cheese factor was high, but movies like Zombie Strippers can't afford not to make fun of themselves. Robert Englund is awesome as the sleazy strip club owner and really the only likable character, besides the extremely stereotypical janitor, Paco. There is plenty of gore (though a few scenes were pretty badly done), but the makeup was awesome. Jenna Jameson looked absolutely hideous for most of the movie and she played her part well. There's an incredibly cheesy fight scene between two zombie strippers and the zombies stripping are pretty funny too.

My only complaints were the unneeded military and the political statements the movie tried to make by continually bashing GW. The movie starts out not so far into the future where GW is taking his fourth term in office with Arnold as VP and Jenna Bush as Supreme Court Justice. It annoyed me that a film so clearly out to be cheesy and over the top had to bash the pres. Why try to make a statement? Just show us zombies and strippers damnit!

But all in all, its a great movie to watch, be entertained and not be tempted to think, at all. I'd try to catch it soon to. From what I've heard, it a limited engagement.

Take that gas!

Today I decided to work from home to save a little gas. I had to get gas yesterday and as I was bending over and taking it, I decided I need to find a few ways to use my car less. I was also hoping that if I wait for people to call me back from home, I won't get as bored.

What the hell was I thinking? It's not even 11:30 and I'm bored out of my gourd. I started working at 8 and was very industrious. I returned a ton of emails, made 8 calls, left 8 messages, did some rewriting and checked web sites.

Without the annoyance of coworkers I get my stuff done faster and have more time to be bored.

Shit.

I think I need a job that keeps my constantly moving and thinking. I've managed to rule out lion taming and the counter-terrorist unit (I just don't think I'm qualified). Any suggestions?

Pretty Pictures

I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and post some photos from my vaca.
So here they are.....



Paris.....





















More Paris....





















The conservatory garden at the Bellagio...


















Part of the strip at night....
















And Zion National Park.
Neato, huh?

Brain Stew, the return

Here's some more intelligence from our favorite burnout:

"There are some Beatles songs I can listen to over and over again. 'I am the Walrus.' You ever heard that one?"

On coughing... "It’s almost like you damaged your….. something."

"I hate elections man. I hate politicians too. I hate insurance salesmen, car salesmen, politicians. They’re all slimy, soulless politicians."

"When its black its white and when its white its black."

"It’s not good to eat out all the time. It’s why America is the fattest country in the whole world and everyone is in debt."

That's all for today, but as the burnout says, see you on the flip.
And yes, it's just flip, no flip side like a normal human being.

Breaking News

I've decided to add a new element to my blog. When I'm not feeling too lazy I'll post what I like to call "Brain Stew - Ramblings from our favorite burnout."
Enjoy.

"People always talk about politics but they’re not the ones who decide who the president is."

"I like to be honest, you know? If someone asks me if I like something, I’m going to say no or I’ll say yes if I like it. I’m not in the business of lying to myself about how I feel about something."

"I think the definition of happiness is, no matter how much money you have, is no debt and have a job you really like no matter what it is -- basket weaving or whatever it is to have happiness… "

"I think a lot of people watch prime time television and it’s such a farce of unreality and people spend hours and weeks entrenched in those shows and they think they’re learning something. They’re not actually going out there and doing it."

Above the influence? Really? Really??

I'm getting sick of these Above the Influence commercials that say how bad smoking weed is. If you're going to point out the evils of pot, pick out something convincing.

Airing a commercial with a talking dog, even though he's chastizing you about being high, is NOT at all convincing. In fact it makes you want to smoke until dogs start talking.

I know I'm behind the times

I finally watched Brokeback Mountain. It's been on my Blockbuster Que for a while and finally reached the top. It was a good movie, well acted, beautifly shot, ect, ect.

I couldn't stop laughing through the movie and it's not because I'm being immature.

When it came out, my grandpa took his special lady friend to see it, not knowing what it was. Throughout the movie I couldn't stop thinking about the reactions of my grandpa and how brutally awkaward things must have been.

I don't want to be mean to my grandpa, but it's damn funny.

Am I allowed to bash women?

Because I'm going to.

This story and subsequent book really annoys me. It makes me understand the enormous divide between men and women, and domestic abuse. It reinforces the idea that women have to change men.

Why?? Only women, as a whole,(pardon the pun) get in to a relationship thinking, 'If I could get him to stop doing this and wearing that, things would be perfect.'

Why not get into a relationship accepting the other person as they are? Men accept each other with their flaws and all. They may rip each other constantly over them, but they get over it and have a beer.

I do appreciate that one of these women advises her sisters not to take things so personally and that a man's every move does not reflect his love of his mate, but this whole subject pisses me off. Grrrr.

I like to remember a truly wise man's motto: "I am what I am."

Lets all raise a can of spinach to Popeye. Here, here.

I'm a real adult now

Yes, I've officially grown up. After months of procrastinating, I'm finally going to the eye doctor.

I don't want to brag, but I have vision insurance now and even though I've had it for a few months, I've been putting off making an appointment because I'm lazy. Nevermind that I'm wearing my last pair of contacts. Nevermind that I've been wearing this pair of month contacts for four months.... Being lazy is much more important.

So I made this appointment on Tuesday for 5 p.m. Friday. I thought I was being responsible for scheduling it then so it wouldn't conflict with any work responsibilities, I mean who schedules a meeting for 5 p.m. on Friday?

Someone does.

So I'm missing a meeting to get my eyes checked. Sounds like an adult excuse to me.

When do I get my adult badge? And is there some sort of secret handshake I have to learn?

When movies go bad

I don't know why, but after I saw the razzies call Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me a disaster, I had to see it. So I put it on my cue, and unsurprisingly it arrived much sooner than Maximum Overdrive.

I movie starts out with an incredibly unsexy dance by Lindsay in a strip club and then goes to her writing emo stories and wearing librarian glasses and low-cut shirts. It only gets better after that.

And by better I mean absolutely, horrifically terrible. So terrible when she woke up and cried when she realized she'd lost both her arm and leg I laughed. Hard.

The movie tried to be scary, but it wasn't. It didn't make any sense and it was once of the worse movies I've ever seen... although Punch Drunk Love and White Girls still take the top prizes.

So, again, good job razzies.

He must be stopped

I bitch about Scientology a lot, I know, but Tom Cruise has seriously gone off the deep end.
In this video of him talking about Scientology, he shows what a complete crackhead he is.

He says things such as:

"We can rehabilitate criminals... We can unite cultures."
"When I drive by an accident it's not like other people driving by an accident, because I know I can help."
"Being a scientologist people turn to you..."
"So its our responsibility to educate, create the new reality."

And he keeps laughing like a maniac.

Wow, I'm now convinced to join Scientology. Sign me up. Give me my keds and get me a glass of koolaide.

That sucks

I just found out that Heath Ledger died. Police aren't sure if it was a suicide or an accidental overdose, but it really sucks.

He was a pretty good actor and I'm really looking forward to seeing him as the Joker when the next Batman movie comes out this summer. He looks badass.

Am I a bad person because my first reaction was worry over whether or not Dark Knight has been finished?