Make room in the trophy case

I hate to sound like Jerry Seinfeld but what’s up with all these series? The Dispatch has gone ape shit lately with series (is someone trying to catch up for contest season??).

It started out with the ABC's of Betrayal, which would have been a good series had they focused more on reporting news rather than making it.

The baby series that made me want to retch followed. I’ll admit it—I don’t like babies and I didn’t read the series at all. But is a seven-day series on a baby who’s been in the hospital forever with whogivesashit disease really necessary?

Now Fighting Fakes is gracing the pages and to be honest I thought it was an AP series at first. Is this series really worth it to foot the bill for a reporter’s trip to Thailand ?


Nope. I really tried to read it with the fact that it must have been an expensive piece to write so it may be worth it in my mind. But I completely lost interest by the fourth paragraph.

Is the Dispatch really trying to drum up pity for clothing companies? REALLY? I know my heart goes out to the multi-billion dollar companies who outsource and then charge ridiculous amounts of money for their clothes. I weep for them.


Couldn’t the money and manpower that went into this series be better spent elsewhere, on a more local subject? What about all the crime in Columbus ? What about the overcrowding in jails? I’m sure there are several better subjects the Dispatch could make news on, rather than burrowing a tunnel up the ass of A&F.

This series almost makes me long for the time of “You Have Cancer.”

Survival of the fittest missed one

Sometimes I wonder how I'm still alive. Not really because I lead a dangerous and exciting life, but more because I am a complete dolt.

I've been completing adults tasks lately, insurance and banking stuff, so I decided I'd continue being responsible and get an outlet that hasn't worked for a few months fixed.

When I got home from work today, I was greeted by an embarrassing note. I called the repairman to my apartment so he could tell me the light switch across the room controls the outlet and it had been switched off.

I is smart.

Today on my fav morning show....

While doing a spot at the State House this morning for the tree lighting, Johnny DiLoretto said something to the effect of, “You think I’m just a silly guy who runs around and does things, but I am interviewing House Speaker Jon Husted.”

Good point, JD.

However, you may want to think about the questions you asked Husted before going all Woodward and Bernstein on our asses.

The hard-hitting questions JD threw at our House Speaker were: How do you celebrate the holidays? Is it hard to get together with family to celebrate during the holidays?


Wow, way to throw those curve balls, JD. Get ready for your Pulitzer.

In other Good Day Columbus news, Kent Justice (who may have the best name ever and could totally be a superhero when he's not on TV) interviewed Jennifer Garner while JD made a gingerbread house yesterday.

I couldn't think of more appropriate assignments.

Freedom! And Puffs Plus

I've been fighting my own personal cold war for going on six days now. It started off on Sunday when those red commie bastards snuck into my body and slowly started to sabotage me with a sore throat and too much coughing.

Today I've nearly combated the sore throat, but now they're tormenting me with more coughing, sinus pain and mucus. I'll teach them though. I've aimed nuclear weapons at them and I'm sending in spies.

If that doesn't work I don't know what I'll do, but I will tear this wall down.

I really need a history lesson.

The perfect villain

Watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade recently, I came to a realization... Nazis really are the perfect villains. They're brutal, hold crazy beliefs and are completely unlikeable (I mean think about the whole Jew thing).

Sure they're often good looking people -- you really can't go wrong with blond hair and blue
eyes -- but they're intolerant of pretty much everyone, stupid and completely evil. They also have ridiculous accents and clothes. And the way they goosestep is just plain silly.

It's enjoyable to see Indiana Jones kick so much Nazi ass and no matter how much abuse they take you never feel sorry for them, because you can't really relate to people who oppressed so many while following a short, angry man with a booger of a moustache.

I have no words...

I just heard on the TV that Johnny DeLoretto will be getting a tattoo on air tomorrow morning.

He never ceases to amaze me.