Today on my fav morning show....

While doing a spot at the State House this morning for the tree lighting, Johnny DiLoretto said something to the effect of, “You think I’m just a silly guy who runs around and does things, but I am interviewing House Speaker Jon Husted.”

Good point, JD.

However, you may want to think about the questions you asked Husted before going all Woodward and Bernstein on our asses.

The hard-hitting questions JD threw at our House Speaker were: How do you celebrate the holidays? Is it hard to get together with family to celebrate during the holidays?


Wow, way to throw those curve balls, JD. Get ready for your Pulitzer.

In other Good Day Columbus news, Kent Justice (who may have the best name ever and could totally be a superhero when he's not on TV) interviewed Jennifer Garner while JD made a gingerbread house yesterday.

I couldn't think of more appropriate assignments.

Johnny "Birdman" DiLoretto

Within 5 minutes of Good Day Columbus kicking off this morning, Johnny DiLoretto was being mocked by a big green bird. Not a parrot, a big green bird because JD is not cool enough to be mocked by a parrot.

Every time JD talked the bird started mumbling along with him and when JD laughed the bird used the most annoying guffaw. JD even went to far as to threaten the bird.

OK, maybe the bird wasn't mocking JD, but they shared a similar stage presence. Perhaps the Columbus News Center should consider booting JD for the bird.

Swarms of Locust are Coming to Your Area Soon!

There's so much to miss, but things are going well so far.

As for my new town, it looks like Thomas Jefferson's Monticello. It's seriously, distractingly beautiful and the people have been very nice so far.

I guess it's hard to not be nice when you get to go home to your $750,000 home, smoke your fine cigar rolled with parchment paper from the constitution, drink aged whiskey, lay your head on your swan-feather pillow, put on your baby-seal skin sleep mask and go to sleep.

Damn.

In other news, Good Day Columbus is interviewing Gabe Spiegel (unfortunately Johnny DeLoretto is not asking the questions though). Catty comments about his hair aside, I'd be remiss if I didn't day WTF?

News anchors are interviewing news anchors now? I'm a little afraid to look outside. I may see the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

God help us all.

JD Watch

This morning on Good Day Columbus Johnny Deloretto ate doggy ice cream with a dog biscuit.

I can't really make fun of him, I tried an all-natural peanut butter dog treat while interviewing someone once.

Is there nothing this man won't do to humiliate himself? Someone deserves a raise.

They're after me pot'o gold!

Today's Good Day Columbus marked my favorite so far.

While doing a segment on the Irish Festival a Leprechaun appeared in the background and Johnny D decided to chase it. Other critics said "They've lost what little credibility they ever had," but I wondered how that segment was born. I have two possible scenarios in my mind:

1.) Upper level management: What do you think of when you think of the Irish?
Yes man: Beer?
Upper LM: No, no.... Leprechauns! That's it!
Yes Man: Yes, perfect. We'll have Johnny interview Leprechauns!
Upper LM: No, no. That's not Johnny. We'll have him harass and annoy one!
Yes Man: Isn't that the same thing?

-Or-

2.) Upper LM: Johnny, you're reporting on the Dublin Irish festival Thursday.
JD: Ooooo, I hope I see a Leprechaun!
Upper LM: Johnny, there's not such thing as Leprechauns.
JD: Yes there are! And if I can't have one I'm not going! *proceeds to fall on floor and kick and pound in temper tantrum*

Who knows, what really happened, but that segment made my day.

Stay Tuned

Tonight on NBC4, 'Will new rules make your bedroom a safer place to be?'
Huh?
I honestly don't know what this exciting segment could be about, but there are so many bad places they could go.
My money's on the most boring scenario possible, perhaps on new smoke detector rules. Ick.

Surprise! Another Post about TV News!

I don't know what it is about making fun of the TV news people. Sometimes it seems too easy but I've never been one to deny kicking a man when he's down is fun.

To me broadcasters are like the friend that everyone makes fun of. You put wasabi in his soda, jello in his pockets and taser him, but he still comes back for more. Maybe that's why some people* seem to enjoy kicking dogs that will still lick your hand in 5 minutes.

I don't condone kicking dogs (kittens are another matter) but I do savor pointing out the toolery of the TV news.

Early this week the morning news aired a segment on the ugliest dogs. I wonder about the station that opts for this story over going a little more in-depth on important stories. God forbid a hard news story break 30 seconds.

Good Day Columbus' Johnny DiLoretto has been doing glorified commercials lately for his morning segments. He does segments (also known as commercials) at restaurants where he explains what's on the menu and talks about how tasty everything is.

I'm beginning to think that man eats, drinks and dresses for free in this city.

The journalistic integrity in those segments remind me of something my favorite comedian once said:

Jim Norton (to reporter at Die Hard 57 opening night): What kind of questions are you going to ask Bruce Willis?
Inept TV reporter: If he's going to do Die Hard 58.
Jim Norton: Are you kidding? Bruce Willis is a whore. He'd *^%# a horse if you offered him enough money.
Horrified TV reporter: .....

Things often remind me of Jim Norton, but in this instance I think the parallel between JD and BW is strikingly obvious.

* Note to our readers: A dear, but very sadistic family member used to kick my dog. She's dead now.... The dog, that is.

Tom Toolery

Dancing with the Anchors ended today on Good Day Columbus and I was rather disappointed.

Final dances from the anchors and Johnny DiLorreto were played-- quite anti-climactic. I only saw JD's segment, but I was hoping to see him stepping on his partner's toes, talking smack to the other anchors and dancers, and finally trying to open-mouth kiss his partner.

His final dance was lacking in his usual enthusiasm and toolishness and rather than being a douche he talked about how much he sucked.
What an opportunity missed.

TV News + Reality TV = Reality News??

Just as I was beginning to hope that reality TV had run its course, I find out TV News is venturing into that sick, twisted and sometimes boring world. The anchors of Good Day Columbus are doing a segment called Dancing with the Anchors.

I find root canals more appealing than watching Dancing With the Stars, so I'm not really sure why it's popular. My only theory is that TV stations are now hiring monkeys to think up ideas for shows and the American public isn't smart enough to figure it out.... but I digress.

I would think that people find Dancing with the Stars interesting because there are "stars" or athletes trying to dance. Have you ever watched white people dance at a club? It's pretty much the same thing, I'm guessing.

I'm certain the star power of the show is the big draw, so I'm quite puzzled on who thought using local TV news anchors for a similar segment was a good idea. TV news anchors around here are not interesting, rich or powerful and I'm pretty sure they've never been pursued by the paparazzi.

I'd really prefer to have the TV anchors report the news. If it's a slow news day maybe they could do a story on local news that's not negative instead of copying national TV that's not even that interesting to begin with..... But that's just an idea.

Good Day Columbus Does it Again!

As I watched my favorite Columbus TV news personality this morning I realized why I'm sad when I don't get to see Johnny DeLoretto in the morning. There were some awkward moments between my favorite tool and Gov. Strickland's wife this morning during their broadcast at a Civil War Reenactment at the State House.

JD would say something "funny" and Mrs. Strickland would smile at him warily and there would be a few moments of uncomfortable silence that reminded me of my favorite show-- The Office.

Yes, JD could be Michael Scott, though not nearly as masterful with inappropriate and awkward comments. It's not nearly as funny and JD's comments sometimes lean towards douchy, but some of the looks he gets are the same that Pam, Jim, Angela and the rest of the cast shoot each other... *sigh*

Ohio's first lady will not play Pam, as this was probably a one-time appearance, but check out the show some morning if you want to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed for others.

Broadcast Hurl

I don't watch the TV news a lot. They bother me.

Maybe it's from listening to my father bitch about the dumb TV anchors when I was a young one, but I have strong animosity for the TV news.

I won't go into the obvious about the sensational reports and constant mistakes, but I will go onto a problem I've been seeing more and more everyday-- tools.

I'm not sure if Carson Daly invented being a tool, but he made it popular.

My theory is that the newscasters in Central Ohio were big Carson Daly fans. It's really the only explanation for the total toolery on the TV at 6 p.m.