Ode to Indoor Plumbing

There's nothing like a weekend of camping to make you appreciate modern conveniences. Not that camping wasn't fun, but I think our gracious hostess said it best-- 'You have lots of fun, but when it's time to go home, you're ready.'
Damn straight.
I was up at 7:30 a.m. Monday morning ready to pack. Not that I didn't have fun...
I finally got to canoe, although there were kids posted around the banks of of Mohican River just waiting to spray or water balloon anyone who passed by. With threats and stern looks, however, I remained dry until our canoe captain "lost control of his paddle and splashed the rest of the crew"- but I don't believe it. He meant to soak us.
I found a pee balloon in the river too, but that's a whole other story.
Camping also gave me the chance to play with fire-- one of my favorite past times. Not only is fire fun to look at, drink by and put random stuff in, but it also cooks food! Who knew?
My favorite burning item was a celebrity magazine. I tore the pages off and burned them one by one.
'Sorry Leo.'
'This is for Battlefield Earth and Wild Hogs John Travolta.'
I saved the front page with Sheryl Crow, Jessica Simpson and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for last. When I threw it in the fire it flamed quickly and all at once, most likely a testament to how evil Tom Cruise is.
Camping was quite enjoyable, but now that I'm done I can't help but appreciate how comfortable beds are, how nice it is to turn on a light instead of a flashlight and how awesome showers are.
Nothing pleased me as much as having a toilet in the next room that consisted of pipes and water instead of a hole in the ground. Running to the outhouse at 4:30 a.m. with your bladder about to burst really makes you appreciate indoor plumbing.
So thank you Sir John Harington Thomas Crapper and everyone else who contributed to this wonderful and under appreciated invention. Kudos.