Your Mom

I'm not sure who else reads Dear Prudence on Slate, but it can be quite amusing at times.
In today's letter, a mom queries Prudence on what to do about a photo that's circulating among her son's friends of a beaver shot. The mom says she was wearing underwear under that short skirt, but I suspect an attempt to pull a Mrs. Robinson.
Of course Pruddie tells the mom to keep her mouth and legs shut so she doesn't ruin her poor son's life.
It's letters like this that make me envy Prudence's job, although I'm not so sure I'd be as loved as her.
For example, I'd do this if I got this letter:
Dear Miss Manners,
My boyfriend proposed to me, but I hate the ring. Frankly, it's ugly and embarrassing. I want to make him buy me a better ring, but I don't know how to ask without hurting his feelings. What should I do?
--Disappointed

Dear Disappointed,
First off, maybe you should have chosen the name Dumb Hole instead of Disappointed, because that's exactly what you're being. Your boyfriend decided to give up fun and marry you. You should give the poor guy a break.
But if you cannot accept the ring your boyfriend bought you with all the love in his heart, maybe you should break it off and find someone who cares more about looks than you.
-- M M

Or this:
Dear Miss Manners,
I'm pregnant and afraid my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. He tells me I'm beautiful, but it doesn't sound honest. He's also been working longer hours and he says its for extra money for the baby, but I think he's having an affair. When I get jealous, he just tells me I'm being silly. I don't want to bring a baby into a loveless marriage. What should I do?
-- Paranoid Pregnant

Dear Preggers,
Kill yourself.
-- M M